Medication and MY decision to stop it! Also, how it feels in the immediate.

As mentioned in a recent blog post; I've been quite heavily medicated since last being in hospital. That was following quite a nasty suicide attempt.

I stopped taking medication one week ago. Cold turkey. No steady reduction, just a clean stop.

I was prescribed Lamotragine (200mg mood stabiliser), Paroxatine (40mg antidepressant), Risperidone (4mg antipsychotic), Diazepam (Benzodiazepine) and Promethazine Hydrochloride (Sleep). I also take Omaperasole 40mg for my gut.

It feels, I imagine, somewhat how it feels to withdraw from a class A substance. I've had what I can describe as a real nasty flu; fever, cramps, strange pulling feeling in my brain, nightmares. I've also had a huge reduction in appetite. It's been quite honestly, horrific.

I've also felt a very severe return of the ADHD symptoms. Manic decision making, racing thoughts, pacing and just feeling uncomfortably energetic.

I'm now using 10000mg CBD oil and I'm microdosing THC. That's it. I feel like it's going to be a long, hard process. I feel like I'm able to do it, I've got faith.